Sex is not only enjoyable, it’s good for you. Folks with healthy sex lives have better immune systems, lower blood pressure, fewer heart attacks, more sleep, and less stress and anxiety, among other health benefits. Better yet, a healthy sex life enhances the quality of a relationship, helping both partners feel closer, happier, and more secure. It’s normal in relationships to have periods of time go by with less frequent sex, and the stress of the holidays can contribute to having less sex.
Here are some suggestions if you’d like to heat things up for the holidays as a gift to yourself and your partner.
1. Arrange a private date for two. Take care of all the arrangements, allowing your partner to enjoy freedom from responsibility. During the date, share something meaningful and emotionally charged. Perhaps share a struggle you are having. Share a dream you have for your future together. Focus on your partner, and ask about his or her dreams. Your partner will love the attention and the deeper connection.
2. If your partner seems stressed or preoccupied, comment on it. Tell your partner you care, and ask for what he or she needs. Your partner will appreciate feeling seen and nurtured.
3. Steal a moment in the middle of life’s crazy busy-ness. Ask your partner if you might interrupt the normal, daily routine for a moment away, as if you were asking for a dance. During that stolen moment, use a slow, soft voice with simple words to share a genuine feeling of love or appreciation. Explore what’s its like in this moment to softly stroke your partner’s hand, neck, or face.
4. Take the initiative to physically connect with your partner apart from sex. Have a “no sex” night or week designed for the sheer enjoyment of experimenting and playing with kissing and touch. Rekindle your appreciation for physical closeness and romance without the pressure or possibility of sex.
5. Jump in and have sex one night when you aren’t in the mood. This might just fire up your hormones, increase your sense of closeness with your partner, and make it more likely you’ll want more.