Stressed? Disconnected? Unhealthy coping strategies? 3 reasons to do couple work.

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Partners are wired together by attachment bonds that are stronger than any attempts at independence. Partners automatically and constantly impact each other’s moods and sense of well-being. Partner’s touch each other’s emotional cores, both positively and negatively, in ways no one else can. Couple counseling can be significantly more impactful than individual counseling. Here are 3 reasons to go to couple counseling:

  1. If you have thoughts that you’re partner is a narcissist or mean (or incapable, selfish, irresponsible, or any other judgmental label), it’s important to go to couple counseling sooner than later. Many couples get caught in devastating negative patterns that are no one’s fault, but cause both partners to act and feel over time in ways that are not their real selves. An individual counselor is naturally likely to side with you, validate your judgements and perspectives, and may inadvertently exacerbate your problems. A good couple counselor will validate both sides, help you both see what’s really going on, transform your negative patterns, and find each other again.
  2. Your own issues are no longer just your own when you are in a couple relationship. Your partner cannot help but be impacted by your issues, and together you can be each other’s healers-in-chief or weightiest anchors. Facing your issues together is not only often much more effective than what you can accomplish on your own, it can enhance and strengthen the bonds between you.
  3. Are you interested in pursuing personal growth and becoming a better person? That’s wonderful, and if your partner is not on this journey with you, you may not be able to go far on your own before you must choose between giving up on your dreams of growth, or continuing to grow by leaving your relationship. Working together to support each other’s growth makes growing easier and more enjoyable, and allows your relationship to thrive too.

Unfortunately, couple therapy can require more training and skill than individual therapy, and many counselors are not well trained in couple therapy. Be sure to ask your counselor about their training and credentials in couples work, and shop around for a good fit. Here is a resource for finding great couples counselors in Montana. Keep searching for your own couple counselor. It will be worth it!